Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
