My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
