i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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