I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
