I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
