someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
