Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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