I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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