I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
