I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
