I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
