Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
