I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
