i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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