hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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