You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
