Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
