DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
