Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just googled if crying burns calories
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
