I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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