i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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