He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
