I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
