So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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