Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
