It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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