There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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