The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
