I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
