I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
