So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
