I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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