she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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