naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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