so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You made out with two different species that night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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