i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
