There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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