How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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