He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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