oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
vagina is talking i cant
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
