Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
