haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
