I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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