You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
