I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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