Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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