Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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