He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Still dying that you shit outside
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
