just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
