you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
soo... how was my night?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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